A mental status examination of the African National Congress.

We are eight months away from the 2014 elections that will ensure that the African National Congress under the leadership of Dr Reverend Professor Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma lead national government until 2019. Allow me to offer a mental status examination (MSE) of the African National Congress at this poignant moment. Wikipedia, Ja Ja I know we ought not to use it, describes the MSE as follows “a structured way of observing and describing a patient’s current state of mind, under the domains of appearance, attitude, behaviour, mood and affect, speech, thought process, thought content, perception, cognition, insight and judgement”.

Biographical details:

Name: Mr. ANC (In the words of the Women’s league president, Angie Motshekga’s,  words “We are not feminists”)

Age: 101

Date of Birth:  08 January 1912

Marital Status: In a polygamous marriage (Married to SACP and COSATU)

Mental Status Examination:

Appearance: Neatly dressed in expensive designer clothes, green, yellow and black coat with a tint of red. Mr. ANC walks with two feet up (sic. Animal Farm)

Behaviour: Disorganised (“ANC leaders charged with leading Western Cape Poo(faeces) protests”.
Speech: loquacious (Prof Zuma speaking to Journalism students was quoted by the M&G saying “when I am in South Africa, every morning you feel like you must leave this country because the reporting concentrates on the opposite of the positive”).

Mood: hyper-manic (See picture below)

Affect: Incongruent (Phiyega: “We are not sorry”, “Well done to the police”, after Marikana massacre in which 44 South Africans demised)

Thought Patterns: Illogical, Grandiose delusions? (“We are the champions of the Freedom Charter” juxtaposed with “Nationalisation is not ANC policy”. And now for the classics “The ANC will rule until Jesus comes”; “We want three thirds in the 2014 elections” said President Zuma”).

Intelligence: Meeting the criteria for the Dunning-Kruger Effect (Google it but in a nutshell it is the phenomena of not knowing that you do not know. Exhibit A: Trevor Manuel not anticipating the miners disgruntlement when he delivered a Ruth First lecture which was interrupted. Exhibit B: Phiyega firing Gauteng police chief Major-General Mondli Zuma on the day of his appointment.

Suicidality and Homicidality: ANC infighting is allegedly fatal at times. On the 25th of February 2013 ANC’s North West deputy chair China Dodovu was reportedly arrested in connection with the killing of the ANC’s regional secretary Obuti Chika. Killing your own chanas or  chinas is suicidal behaviour comrades. On the subject of homicidal behaviour the jury is out on Marikana. What of Candith Mashego-Dlamini, the Mpumalanga MEC of health, who failed to intervene when 30+ black children were killed in botched circumcisions?. She reportedly said this was because she is a woman and in her culture her gender does not allow her to intervene? {Just imagine if those children’s skin was melanin deficient}

Insight and judgement: Poor (We will establish a commission of inquiry to explicate the reason for being diagnosed as having poor insight and judgement. We will not rest until this matter is clarified.)


Multiple Personality disorder (traits of communalism, socialism, capitalism, liberalism and neo-liberalism)?

Dementia (Alzheimer’s type with disorganized behaviour)?

Mental Retardation?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Protective factors: Mr. ANC is very resilient having persevered following divorces with PAC in 1959, COPE in 2008 and EFF in 2013.

Disclaimer: No public funds were used in the creation of this satirical piece. However if you would like to contribute to a campaign to purchase an EFF beret for the National Commissioner feel free. Any person who has followed a trial in which the defense and prosecutors have employed different mental health practitioners will tell you that professional opinion is not always unanimous. If you disagree with me we will assume you are a professional with a different opinion. This disclaimer legitimizes opinions that are at odds with my opinion. @Hlaudi ‘Matric for what’ Motsoeneng and Prof Zuma I think this can be classified as good news.



When the people say jump. How high do our elected representatives jump?


5 thoughts on “A mental status examination of the African National Congress.

  1. That’s why when you find yourself thinking like the majority,you really need to pause and reflect. Classic case of the blind leading the blind,sheep being led to a slaughter house. Well written shuffle, you put into words what I’ve been thinking all along. Sad part is that personally I don’t see an opposition party that would do better. We as the people are like skinny street kids feeding fat men(govt)lots of pie.

  2. Shuffle, very thought-provoking piece. I’m glad there are South Africans out there who realize that “mob” mentality will lead us all to the slaughterhouse. I’m looking forward to your blog on the opposition, only I don’t see how that’s going to help people who are truly committed to this great movement which finds itself under the guidance of really inept leadership. Great piece.

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